Essence of Love?

What is love? One of the most frequently asked questions and has thousands of answers. Nobody can really define it. Many people have tried to describe it based on their feelings or experiences, but we can say that: Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision we make. 

The meaning of love based on the experts

Various scientists and philosophers have long tried to define love. There is no formula to define the meaning of love. Which can be defined as the understanding of love from various perspectives of life. Here are some meanings of love from famous thinkers:

According to M. Scott Peck, an American psychiatrist and author of The Road Less Traveled, the meaning of love is a human's desire to develop themselves and to maintain their spiritual growth or the spiritual development of others.

The definition of love according to Quraish Shihab, a national Muslim figure, is the tendency of the human heart for something or someone because of the pleasure or benefits that can be obtained from the loved ones.

Love as a feeling of soul and human turmoil that drives a person to love his lover with tenderness, passion, and affection is defined by Abdullah Nashih 'Ulwan, a legendary Muslim figure from Syria.

According to Erich Fromm, a psychology professor from Germany, five processes shape love: recognition, feeling, responsibility, attention, and mutual respect.

The characteristics of loving someone

Based on the definition of love according to experts from various perspectives, here are five characteristics that you have found the feeling of love for someone. These five things must be fulfilled to conclude that the feeling you are experiencing is love.

1. The feeling of happiness 

The feeling of happiness to be near or to interact with someone is one sign that there is a feeling of love in you. Especially when you see your partner happy, you feel happy too. Therefore, you also feel that you always want to make him happy.

2. A sense of interest/admiration 

This does not only relate to physical but also non-verbal. Physical attraction describes an interest or impression you have towards someone and his achievements. Meanwhile, admiration is more to non-verbal things that make you impressed, such as his sense of humor or his helpful nature.

3. A sense of care and attention

Do you always want to be notified immediately as he arrives at his destination? Or, you often ask what food he wants? Those attentions, which generally continue because you have a desire to try to fulfill or to just make him feel comfortable, are signs that you are in love.

4. Making sacrifices

Sacrifice between parents and children is a common thing. Likewise, couples, who love each other, are willing to sacrifice for their partner, simple or major. For example, when the husband gives up his permanent job to move to another city following his wife who will continue her education.

5. Bringing up goodness

Loving someone positively means you feel good things in yourself too. It is shown by better words and deeds you express, as well as more self-confidence. 

In addition to the five features above, an important point to remember is that love must be both ways. Both of you and him must feel the same way to be able to become a couple who are mentally and physically attached.


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